Bob's Best Dad Jokes

2004-08-18, Smokies Park, Sevierville, TN

I noticed something I’d almost forgotten about listening to today's show - August 18, 2004 in Sevierville, Tennessee. For a few years, from roughly 1999 to 2004, Dylan used to introduce his band members with jokes. And not good jokes. Insanely cheesy dad jokes. They never had much to do with the band members in question. It felt like he looked up a bunch of one-liners in Ye Olde Book of Punny Knee-Slappers, the sort of jokes that were probably huge with Milton Berle’s grandparents.

In this current age of Serious Nobel Prize-Winner Dylan, it’s fun to remember him cheerfully busting out the hoariest puns night after night for no other reason than they made him laugh.

Below, I've ranked all the band-introducing jokes I could find from this period, worst to best. To be fair, they're all bad, but there's a difference between bad-bad and so-bad-they're-good. I’d put most in the latter category. If you have less tolerance for terrible puns, your mileage may vary.

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Update April 2023: An audio supercut version I made of some of these:

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“Now next to him is Freddy Koella. Oh ... Freddy's hangin' up right now on vitamin C. On vitamin C ... well, out on cocaine, or something. Freddy's livin' on reds, vitamin C and cocaine, I'll tell you.” (7/29/03)
This is sort of a (dis)honorable mention. It's much more topical than the interchangeable puns we’ll get to. If it's unclear - and, the way Bob mangles it, it's probably very unclear - Bob's attempting to make a reference to the Grateful Dead song "Truckin'." He was opening for the Dead at this show, so it's less of a joke-joke than a winking reference, but still, fun idea! Too bad he whiffed the delivery so thoroughly.

"David was going to be a doctor but couldn't find — he didn't have any patience" (6/27/00)
Gotta dock this one for a botched delivery (how’s that for a doctor pun?). Also because the patience/patients thing doesn't really work when you write it out.

"When I first met Bucky, he didn't have a penny to his name. I told him to get another name." (?/?/97)
One of the earliest band-introing dad jokes, supposedly from some show in 1997. Not good; it only barely makes cents. (Now there’s a penny joke)